It is only when you care, that ‘things’, moments, or whatever you want to call it, will affect you. My own sister is trying to ruin my reputation. I still cannot comprehend how the person I am closest to and would give up my life for is one of the only people that would take it to a level of no return just to hurt me. She sent individual messages and mass messages on social media regarding my private life. I do not have any social media because I love my privacy (and partially because I am shady at times,
Do you not give me what I want because you know I’d get bored? Bravo! I enjoy a challenge. You are the best dance I have ever had. I enjoy playing with you the most that I have started caring because I respect your game.
I think I do not want change (or more humbly put to help inspire change) because I do not know if “enlightenment” will necessarily make humans happier. At times, a life in our times appears to be the most “fulfilling” when we reach the apex of a vapid existence.
Be kind to others. Especially those with kind souls that have been dealt a bad hand. Their luck may change. You never know. Maybe you can help them change their luck. Do not do it because it makes you feel better or a kinder person. Or for karma. Do it because you genuinely care for others. Because their happiness or luck or life may change for the better.
Got so much to tell you guys… actually I need you. I need the thought of someone out there perhaps understanding my experiences and feelings in this crazy life. I guess not feeling alone with my thoughts. It’s 8am and I haven’t slept for a couple days with the exception of a few power naps. But I’ve taught myself not to even think about the option of giving up and I just keep trekking along, whether in misery and pain or in moderate contentment emanating solely from feeling satiated. But for now all I got to say is if you
Dear Humans, Truth be told, I have had an awful past couple of days: I failed an examination, which has never happened over the course of my life (actually I have always been a nerd), the boyfriend and I are on the verge of breaking up, my phone broke, I am also broke, my parents sent me a ‘nice’ (I am saying this sarcastically) email telling me to get my life together, and the rental management company wanted to speak with me in regards to something (which obviously could not have been something pleasant). One thing you must know about
I bought a typewriter because I do not want to hit backspace. I do not want to hit backspace on any of my life. I have an uncanny ability to hide away moments that have passed to a point where they becomes blurry and I am unsure as to whether they actually did happen or whether it was a dream. These unsavory memories come back at times and I quickly push them back in the abyss of my head where thoughts are purged, albeit momentarily. Today I did nothing I laid in bed and watched mind numbing shows I do
I want to live with the Bedouins in the desert. Or with the Monks in the mountains. Maybe the only vice I’ll keep is smoking.
It’s funny how the people you’re closest to can hurt you the most. I thought family was supposed to support you. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe they’re meant to put you down. Bring you down to earth. Make you afraid to dream. Then tell you you’re not good enough when you haven’t achieved something great. It all sounds very hypocritical. Life only happens once. At least how we currently know it. Why aren’t we allowed to dream. I thought dreamers made this world.